No Freudian Slips
by 907923
Summary: Kakashi, cryptic and nonchalant, is always there to ruin something for Sakura.


Kakashi knows that there will come one day when he couldn't lie to Sakura any more. Not 'shouldn't' nor 'wouldn't', but he plainly couldn't.

He'd like to think it's because his student grew up, or rather _forced_ to grow up as she's engulfed in emotional and physical toil most of her life. This would certainly concoct an effortless answer.

Sure enough: "You don't have to say that, sensei," Sakura mutters, her voice flat and dry.

Kakashi doesn't like to think he is lying, per se… because of its clear negative connotations, which obviously betray his altruistic intention. He shrugs, unbothered, and reaches for the orange on the table and begins to peel it. The raw, citrusy scent tickles his nostrils pleasantly.

"Sakura…" He starts, but decides to let it hang altogether.

* * *

><p><strong>No Freudian Slips<br>**_**Prologue**_

* * *

><p>"This is a fun breakfast," Sakura grimaces as she stirs cream into her coffee.<p>

Mornings are usually Sakura's favourite time of the day, especially when it's summer. The warm air is crisp, the sky is brilliantly blue, the fresh smell of grass is invigorating, and most of all, the village is illuminated by vibrant sunshine at eight in the morning.

Sakura bites her lower lip and debates whether to order the porridge or not. She already had the omelet… _Why not_, she shrugs and places in her order. The patio is not very crowded, which is good for Sakura. The last thing she needs at the moment is a horde of sheep uttering their _own_ problems over breakfast.

As she waits, she deliberately ignores Kakashi, who is popping pieces of orange into his mouth idly. Tenten and Lee pass by from a distance, they both wave to her merrily. Sakura half-smiles and waves back. She _could_ be enjoying this day. It _is_ a beautiful day—a fine morning as she shares breakfast with her beloved sensei from once upon a time.

"I don't understand why you can't tell me," Sakura presses on with furrowed brows.

Kakashi shrugs again and sighs, "I told you, Sakura, Naruto's busy with paper work."

Sakura rolls her eyes and rests her chin on her hand. She keeps a stiff upper lip as she watches villagers pass by the patio. _Paper work my ass… _she thinks sullenly, _he does paper work like he does chores. _

"Admit it, sensei—I know you know—Naruto's been avoiding me… he probably hates me right now," she draws in a prickly breath. Clearly, Sakura has been thinking about this for quite some time.

Kakashi sits his orange down and watches the clouds hover over the blue sky. He marvels over her rather bitter remark. His eyes darts back to the distressed Sakura, whose porridge just arrived. She stirs the bowl gradually, adding in natto beans.

"Naruto doesn't hate you, Sakura," Kakashi answers. "That's absurd."

Sakura struggles to believe his him; she samples a morsel of her porridge and says, "I know Naruto well and frankly? _Paper work?_ If there are _other_ reasons for his not being here… you should tell me."

"Clearly, you don't know him well enough," Kakashi declares quietly, pouring himself a cup of green tea.

Sakura narrows her eyes at Kakashi. She inhales sharply and tosses her spoon clamorously down on the table.

"I think I know him adequately, _thanks_," Sakura snaps.

Kakashi clears his throat and sips his drink with quiet nonchalance. Sakura glances around swiftly and realizes the table to their right has noticed her little outburst. They withdraw their stare a second too late. Sakura must've spoiled their al fresco breakfast. Her cheeks burned a little.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to… yeah," she whispers uncomfortably to Kakashi, her voice still hard and edged with pique.

Kakashi shrugs, "That's quite all right."

"You're still not going to tell me the truth, are you?"

Kakashi picks at his eggs in silence.

Defeated (and frustrated), Sakura sighs. She picks up her spoon and feeds herself porridge. The food is only texture, no taste. Again, Sakura _could_ really be enjoying this day. This is her first break in half a year. And for heaven's sake, it's _summer_. But even the sunshine and warm weather fail to perk Sakura up.

The village is finally at ephemeral peace. Sasuke is away on a last minute side mission—he won't be back for a little while. Sakura doesn't mind, in fact, this gives her a chance to rewind on her own and catch up with her friends by herself.

With her recent engagement to Sasuke and her new position as the lead medic-nin, Sakura could barely devote time for anything. Naruto, regardless of being the Rokudaime, is entitled to his days off, too. Sakura seizes this moment and wants to dedicate her time to him. And Kakashi.

"Enjoying your porridge?" Kakashi asks as he puts a piece of egg into his mouth.

"Yeah, it's not bad… here," Sakura replies. She scoops a spoonful of her porridge with natto and dumps it onto Kakashi's plate.

He looks at her blankly, "Thanks."

Sakura half-smiles and pushes her bowl away. She sips her coffee.

"I'm sorry, sensei…" she whispers. "It's just that I haven't talked to Naruto in weeks…"

Kakashi nods.

"Two weeks, actually. I've seen him in the office, besides a 'hey, here's the bi-weekly casualty report', I haven't talked to him in so long, _too_ long."

"Sakura, he's—"

"I know, he's the Hokage and I understand that, he has priorities and commitments… but I just have a feeling he is avoiding me lately."

Kakashi chews as he mulls over Sakura's divulgence.

"He wanted to come today, he wanted to see you," he offers.

Sakura musters a weak smile in return and succumbs to her contemplative, or rather, girlish compulsion to analyze her recent interactions (or lack thereof) with Naruto, and probe for any confirmative signs that he's deliberately shunning her.

"I _know_ he's free today," Sakura drawls out, unable to keep the waspish edge out of her voice. _Sakura, you are whining, stop it, it's pathetic… _she reminds herself. As she eyes the forgotten slices of bread on the table, she realizes Kakashi's studying her with a thoughtful eye.

"I'm driving you around the bend," she notes.

Kakashi's placid face breaks off into a small smile. He shakes his head slightly and tries the porridge.

"Maybe a little bit…" he admits whilst chewing. "You are concerned and upset, Sakura, I understand. It's fine."

"Is it really?" She asks flatly.

"You are worried about Naruto. Your strained friendship with him is—"

"So you agree!" Sakura exclaims. "Our relationship is 'strained'—you think we are 'strained'—"

"Calm down," Kakashi says, scratching his head. "'Strained' is… unfitting, I take that back."

A pained smile sits on Sakura's lips. "You can't take it back," she declares, "we _are_ strained and you know it."

"I don't know anything… for sure, anyways," Kakashi backtracks. "Only you and Naruto know what is really going on."

Sakura nods and sips her coffee quietly.

She called Naruto and asked to meet for lunch ("My treat, too, okay?") upon discovering her unanticipated time-off a few days ago. Sakura knows errands are less demanding/'troublesome' around the office these days (Shikamaru, once an ANBU leader, now trudges beside the Hokage as the ANBU correspondent, told her so), so Naruto should have some time to spare.

Sure enough, Naruto told her in his casual, happy-camper tone that he couldn't meet up, he would love to, though, but couldn't. Sakura knows Naruto can do many things well, but lying isn't one of them; she swore she could hear him biting his cheek through the phone—a quirk Naruto does whenever he tells a full-frontal lie. She clicked her tongue and convinced him it'll just be breakfast.

"I know you love porridge with natto, Naruto… they make delicious porridge… or is it congee? Either way, it'll be short and fun, I promise…" Sakura persuaded.

When she sensed an incoming refusal, she piped up with a:

"Kakashi-sensei will come, too. We haven't seen him in a while, right?" She spoke as if their former sensei's idle presence alone would entice him.

Silence fell over the phone line. A long second later, Naruto agreed (probably reluctantly) that Saturday morning would be fine. Sakura said 'good-bye' as she hung-up the phone, immediately shuddering at their painful conversation.

Sakura snaps out of her retrospection. She grabs a grapefruit and plays with it, now debating whether to eat that or not.

"Do you think Naruto believes he's too good to be my friend now? Being the Hokage and all?" Sakura asks Kakashi dejectedly.

Kakashi laughs. He shakes his head in fond disbelief.

"No, Sakura, I don't think that," he says. "Why would_ you _think that?"

"Well, with everything going on between us lately, y'know, him being completely detached… well, i-it makes a girl think. Namely, me."

Kakashi nods as if to consider this. He leans back on his chair as he rests his arms behind his head. He notices Kurenai walking with Gai from the corner of his eyes.

"You said you know Naruto 'adequately', so you must have some legitimate insight to his behaviour rather than making stupid guesses."

Sakura presses her lips together. She slices the grapefruit open with a swift slash and pushes the two halves towards Kakashi.

"Besides, don't you have any other going-ons in your life that need to be tended? Ones more urgent than your 'Naruto dilemma'?" Kakashi brings up.

"…you are implying the wedding," Sakura states.

Kakashi shrugs, "Yeah, the wedding… and other stuff, whatever they are…"

As Sakura casually observes people passing by, she ponders over Kakashi's implication. Sakura sits up and clears her throat.

"Actually, I do, sensei," she begins, "I don't know how to say this, but… it's good you are here today…"

"I thought I was only here to lure Naruto,"

Sakura rolls her eyes. "Yeah, ha-ha, funny. Look, like I said, I don't know how to say this… so I'll just have to say it…"

"Sakura, don't blab, what is it?"

"You know I'm engaged to Sasuke, our wedding should be sometimes soon,"

"Yes…"

"I know it sounds stupid… I know it _is_ stupid, but… I just have to ask you, sensei, I…" Sakura bites her bottom lip as if ready to confess an embarrassing secret. "I want your blessing."

Kakashi narrows his eyes in confusion. After recognizing Sakura's staid stare, he raises his brows, his dark eyes widen with surprise.

"Oh," he says.

The heart of Sakura's request has yet to register in him. Kakashi reaches for his cup of tea and brings it to his lips. Without a sip, he sits the cup immediately down and gapes at Sakura, who is sitting quietly, waiting patiently for his answer with a small smile. Kakashi knows this smile well.

"My blessing…" he echoes, withdrawing from his daze.

"No pressure, sensei," Sakura says sheepishly.

She wipes her lips with a napkin and tosses it onto her plate.

"It's not too much to ask…" she adds.

Kakashi nods in reply. He furrows his brows at his former student.

"My blessing might as well be shot to hell, Sakura,"

"What do you mean?"

"You'll be marrying Sasuke no matter what I say at this point,"

"Which is why I said this is stupid. I would still greatly appreciate if you are to give us your blessing… it's a sense of comfort, for _me_, anyways."

Kakashi nods.

It's not so surprising truthfully, Sakura's request. Her own father passed away three years ago from a sudden heart attack on his way to purchase groceries. Unfortunate, of course, but typical. His death was not a tragic one, at least not to Kakashi, whose close acquaintances all collapsed on cold battlegrounds in their own pool of red. Frankly, _that's_ typical.

The next in line for a certified father figure is Sakura's beloved (not entirely…) Kakashi-sensei. So, in a dismal and peculiar sense, Kakashi did foresee this on a subconscious level.

He looks into Sakura's bright eyes and suddenly finds himself at odds. He realizes he is now bestowed with a bigger role in her life… and it is far too alien for comfort. It was as if someone unexpectedly dumped an infant into his arms and declared it's his. Kakashi is now… a guardian of—

_What the fuck._

He clears his throat and withdraws his eyes from hers'. Kakashi doesn't feel like anyone's father… not even figuratively, and he most likely never will. As a matter of fact, he doesn't harbour _any_ paternal sentiments at all. Especially not for Sakura… not for Naruto nor Sasuke nor any scab sporting brat galloping on the streets like a wild turkey.

Sakura looks a tad uncomfortable from the bleak silence. Before Kakashi can contemplate further, he takes a sip from his cup.

"Okay… so," Kakashi answers. "I suppose… I refuse to give you my blessing."

Sakura blinks. She knits her brows at Kakashi, half in amusement, half in disbelief. She lets out an airy laugh and shakes her head (as a waiter comes to clear their table).

"What?" Kakashi remains still.

"…you're joking, right?"

"Am I?"

"S-Sensei…"

"Neither does Sasuke should have my blessing—in case I'm not making myself clear enough."

"I don't understand what you mean…"

Kakashi chuckles, "What's not understandable? You want my blessing for the wedding, and I refuse to give it."

His blunt reply wiped off any trace of good humor on Sakura's astounded face. She licks her lips and tries to decipher Kakashi's words differently than what it appears to mean. Obviously no luck.

"W-Why not?" she finally asks.

Kakashi considers her question for a second and replies, "Because I've no reasons to."

Sakura gradually pales. The silence is broken only by the chinks of utensils and happy mumbles from other tables. Kakashi is nonchalant, which further befuddles Sakura.

_This is all happening so fast…_

She doesn't know how to react. Sakura expected him to give them his blessing… she never even _considered_ the alternative. And _why_ would there be an alternative anyhow?

"You'll marry him anyways," concedes Kakashi.

"I…" Sakura starts, then stops herself. She knows he knows he's right.

Clearly, Kakashi doesn't have as big of a role in her life as she wants him to. There is a limitation to his artificial sway as a 'father figure'. Kakashi rolls his eyes to the thought of that foreign term.

"I need to get going… my treat," he says, slapping money on the table. "This has been fun."

Sakura can't make out if he's being sarcastic. Knowing Kakashi, probably.

She mutters rather coldly, "I can pay for myself."

Kakashi smiles and shrugs.

With that, he left the patio (as a bemused Sakura stares after him). She then closes her eyes in distress.

Earlier today, she had one problem. A stupid breakfast later, she has two, all thanks to Kakashi-sensei. Sakura needs time to process this little event.

She tries her best to disregard the odd feeling that is lugging her stomach. She reassures herself that as much as she would have appreciated Kakashi's blessing, it's just _words_ and cannot alone dictate _her_ decision at the end of the day.

* * *

><p><strong>to be continued<strong>


End file.
